Faith Tabernacle

A few months ago while I was meeting with a small group of students in my office I posed to them a question, “What do you think of solitude?” I was a little surprised by the response I received. They almost unanimously agreed that it was equivalent to punishment. “Solitude it terrible!” one student said, “I always have to have some music or noise playing.”

Then I brought to their attention that one of the greatest figures in the Bible spent his entire adolescence alone. David was a shepherd boy. This was a very, very lonely job full of solitude. Yet, it was in this solitude that a psalmist and warrior was conceived.

Most parents want their students to discover God on their own. I hear this quite a bit and on the surface it sounds good and even right. What Christian parent wouldn’t want their students to discover God and their relationship with Jesus on their own? It seems more meaningful that way. The danger is in how this discovery process is played out. While this trend sounds right, I believe this approach is incredibly unhealthy and sets students up for failure.

Imagine if I decided that I wanted my 3yr old boy to discover, on his own, essential life skills like personal hygiene, an education, respect for others, healthy eating habits and personal fitness. What would that lead to? DISASTER! Any parent who would leave their child to just "discover" such things wouldn’t really be a parent at all, would they. So because I love my son I make him or even force him to learn essential life skills and I put him in relationship with people who will teach and reinforce these skills.

In our high school ministry we just finished a teaching series on self-control. What a fitting season for that to be a discussion topic both at church and at home. Self-control can simply be defined as restraint. It is the ability to control our reactions and impulses. The holiday season can and often time does expose within us our lack of restraint or inability to control our impulses. Our desire to buy the most expensive version or model of the gift we had in mind or our inability to say “no” to our third and fourth piece of pie. But what does this teach our children? How has this seasonal permission to ignore restraint affected this generation? Do your children witness you every year spend too much on Christmas only to end up cash-strapped for the next two months?

These may seem like worse case scenarios to you and maybe in your home restraint during the holidays isn’t a problematic issue, but for many in America it is. Nevertheless, discussing this topic is crucial. Our students need to hear from us and see in us a model for responsible living and spending. They need to understand why you are making the wise decisions that you are. Let’s face it, when your children are grown up they will probably take their cues from you on how to live wisely or unwisely during this season. So I want to encourage you to have family discussions that address issues like these. Help your student/s to discern what is wise, truthful and responsible and what is not. This may keep them from getting sucked into the negative cycle of over-spending and over-eating that defines our culture during the holiday season and set them up for success in their lives now and in the future.

Last month we had a Parents Potluck at Faith Tabernacle. Jim and Charlotte Mather and I took that opportunity to share with parents our heart for their teenagers. As I listened to Jim and Charlotte speak, I could not help but feel tremendously blessed to get to serve with such quality people who are so passionate about seeing students transformed into Christ followers. Our message that afternoon was a unified message of our desire to set students up to have life-transforming encounters with God. We want students to encounter God in the Word, worship, prayer and service. So we have set our sights on providing those kinds of encounters throughout this school year.

We are all agreed that as much as we can plan for and set up these encounters it’s the parents that make all the difference. You get them there or you don’t. Most students need that extra push from Mom or Dad to come. The enemy would love for them to sit at home on the couch or to keep them so busy with sports and other extra curricular activities that spiritual encounters never happen. As parents, you have that greatest opportunity to make a difference in this area by taking control of your student's schedule and making things, like Wednesday night youth services and camp, more important than a minimum wage job.

This summer was a terrific reminder for me that God wants to capture the hearts of young people. As I spent time with students on road trips, at camps and in my own home studying the Word, I began to see the way God can capture a student's heart and leave them completely transformed for life. What students need are regular encounters with God and an attitude of expectancy that He will meet with them. I'll be speaking to the students a lot this year about their attitude towards God and church and what their expectations are of both. I've seen that when students begin to expect God to speak to them that He responds generously and powerfully to that. So, I am asking you, as their parents, to pray for your students this school year that their expectation levels will rise for what God is capable of doing in and through them.

"God has not given us a spirit of fear" 2 Timothy 1:7

As I was reading an old devotional book of mine I came across this quote "fear defines our master." Take a moment to think about that quote. I think it means that what we fear is essentially what rules in our lives. If we fear rejection we will live to not be rejected. If we fear what others think we might find ourselves living to please others. If we fear poverty we will serve wealth, and if we fear insignificance maybe we will become workaholics believing that what we do makes us significant. But what if we fear God? I submit that the result will be a life lived to please Him.